Hail in the New Year

One of my goals this year has been to bring more peace into our home. Like most families, we have our fair share of stresses. During my pregnancy, I picked up some bad habits, namely anxiety. So many of the activities I used to enjoy became far too stressful for my frazzled brain and weakened body to handle. I used to be a very outgoing person, the life of the party. I used to enjoy anything that got my blood pumping, whether it be high adventure or intense exercise or wild dance parties. I very much enjoyed having a good time and bringing others along with me.

After I had my daughter, something changed. It was a rough journey getting her here and that journey seemed to have left it's scars. After nearly a year of trying everything I could think of to recover, I decided to take a different approach. I decided to accept the scars and make peace with them. I decided to embrace these new changes and find a way to use them for good.

In my journey to find peace, I learned some very important lessons that I'd like to share with each of you. Here's some food for thought as you begin your new year...

1. Change, although difficult, does not destroy. Embracing who I have become did not destroy the girl I was. She is a part of me. She brought me to where I am today. She gave me my closest friends. She built memories with my family. She introduced me to my husband. She did not go away, she just changed into the me that's here today.
2. Peace must be sought. In a world made of chaos, peace is an unnatural element. It does not exist on it's own. Peace must be sought out and developed. Peace cannot be given, is must be obtained. The one exception to that is He who is Peace can give of Himself. If we ask of Him, we shall be granted the peace we seek.
3. Peace cannot be forced. On the journey to finding peace, there are no shortcuts. Expect that your peace will be as short as your journey. Each must make the journey by choice. We cannot force peace on another, no matter how much we may wish to.
4. The journey to Peace is continuous. Because our world is fueled by chaos, anytime we stop seeking peace, we start to lose it. Think of a river. If there is nothing to feed the river, the flow will stop. There can be a reserve to feed the river during the dry months, but even the largest reserve will one day run dry. Just as a river must be fed continuously, so must our Peace.
5. Peace begins in you. As I tried to bring peace into our home, I learned that is I was conflicted, I could not bring peace. I needed to take time and find peace within before I could share it with my family. If I was upset, our home would be upset. If I was at peace, our home would be at peace.

Now that you've got the what, tune in tomorrow for the how. I would highly recommend bringing peace into your life. The journey is tough at first, but beyond worth it. As we say goodbye to an old year, why not say goodbye to old stresses too?

Just Stop It.

Oh, women. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we feel this need to keep up with the Jones? Why do we compare our faults to others strengths? Why do we put ourselves down for being flawed? Why do we put down others for actions that we do not understand? Why do we measure ourselves against an unreal expectation of perfection? Why do we do this to ourselves?

One of the top news stories this week was the controversy that broke out after a young woman posted a selfie 4-days post baby. The controversy? Is she a role model for new moms or is she furthering the pressure for new moms to jump back post baby? Whereas most individuals reading the articles circling the internet and taking a side, my thoughts were not "Why are we doing this to women?" but "Why are we doing this as women?"

I'll admit that seeing a woman with such a perfect form four days our does hurt my heart a little. I feel the longing to jump back that quickly (or at all...). I feel the guilt that I still don't look that great after almost 2 years. I feel the need to hear her story, learn about her diet and exercise habits during pregnancy, partly to know what I did wrong and partly to prove she put her baby at risk doing something unhealthy. Honestly, I feel the need to compare.

But my much stronger feelings are not about this woman, but all women. My thoughts are this: Why were there so many women quick to judge? Was it because we feel that this woman is raising the bar for us? Was it because we secretly envy her genetic potential? The only answer that makes complete sense is because we compare. We compare ourselves to genetic unicorns and photoshopped images. We compare ourselves to top-paid athletes and celebrities that are paid and painted to look that good. We compare ourselves to friends and sisters and neighbors and coworkers. All day, every day we compare.

Ladies, stop it. Just stop it. You are wonderful. You are wonderful, regardless of anything else. You are wonderful with or without stretch marks. You are wonderful with or without that extra 20 pounds. You are wonderful with or without a beautiful home or a brand new car. You are wonderful with straight hair, curly hair, or somewhere in between. You are wonderful, regardless of your marital status, the number of children you have, your political affiliation, or your background check. You are wonderful, regardless of how you compare to anyone else.

So just stop comparing! You are wonderful and she is wonderful. And your wonder is not dependent on her wonder. And her wonder does not subtract from you wonder. You are equally wonderful! You are strong and so is she. You are beautiful and so is she. You are important and so is she. You have worth and so does she. No need to compare.