Happy Birthday!

I know. Two posts in one week. But it's my birthday and I can do whatever I want. About a month ago, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. So for the last month I've been trying to come up with something. Most years I could some up with a list a mile long of things I want but would never buy for myself. This year that was not the case. I was totally at a loss.

Then this morning it came to me. I want women all other the world to feel their worth! That is the only birthday present I want. I want every women to see her worth! I want her to rejoice in her strength and beauty! I want her to see herself for the wonderful woman she is!

So I decided that for my birthday, as a present to me, I want you to make a list of things you like about yourself. Since it's my 25th birthday, make it a list of 25 things. Maybe for some women this will be a breeze. Personally, this list has taken me years to create. Here's my list. What's on yours?

1. I am a good wife.
2. I'm a good mom.
3. I care about people.
4. I put people before things.
5. I love.
6. I'm tolerant of differences.
7. I never stop trying.
8. I enjoy learning new skills and developing new talents.
9. I push through hard times.
10. I manage money well.
11. Regardless of all the wrong choices I've made, where it counts, I made the right choice. I chose a good man.
12. I stick to my guns.
13. I can make stinkin' cute baby blankets.
14. Every now and then, I do something amazing.
15. My dinners are totally edible.
16. I can find beauty in just about anything.
17. I've learned to think before I speak.
18. I can recognize a person in pain.
19. I'll do what I can to help with the pain I see.
20. I know when to say no.
21. I can usually recognize truth from error.
22. I did so good.
23. I see beauty in me.
24. I know my worth.
25. I have the confidence to say these things.

Intellectual Wellness

Oh, the beauty of the human mind! This complex muscle is still a mystery. No one understands quite how it works and no one can recreate it's intricacies. It's a phenomenal tool given to us. I could go on all day about how incredible the human mind is, but I won't. Just know it's amazing.

The basic definition of intellectual health is having curiosity or a strong desire to learn. Our mind is a muscle, and just like ever other muscle in the body, our mind has a "use it or lose it" principle. This means that the minute we stop developing our minds, we start to lose it. It's a simple concept, but for many MANY adults, this area of wellness gets forgotten quickly. 

Think about it. When was the last time you decided to learn something new? When was the last time you felt passionate about a field of study or a developing a talent? When was the last time you challenged your mind with something other than exhaustion?

Sometimes as a mom, my wants and desires get put on the back burner. And by sometimes, I mean most days. However, my intellectual wellness downfall started long before I had babies. My last semester of college I discovered a fiery passion for women's health. After I graduated, I applied for grad school and after a year of waiting for paperwork to be processed, I was accepted! At the same time my husband was in school full-time and his ability to work was diminishing under his workload. The decision came down to me finding a full-time job or me attending grad school. I choose a job and let my dreams of a Masters fall to the wayside. 

That was almost three years ago. The time I picked up a text book was three years ago. The last time I did anything I was passionate about was three years ago. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. I just don't have a fiery passion for cooking and cleaning and changing diapers. I wouldn't even say I'm passionate about playing with my daughter or talking with my husband. I love doing these things, but it's not the same mental stimulation I had in college. I do these things because I love my family. 

Just before I started this blog, I was feeling like I'd lost a part of myself to motherhood. Again, I love being a mom. I just thought I had to choose either motherhood or me. After some deep contemplation and long talks with loved ones, I realized I didn't have to choose one or the other. I can be an awesome mom AND help women achieve personal wellness! So I started this blog to get my fiery passion burning again. Ya know what? It worked! I am an awesome mom. Spending an hour or two a day on something I love has not diminished my relationship with my baby girl. 

In truth, I believe this has strengthened my ability to be an awesome mom. I'm not worn down at the end of the day. I don't feel like a drone, lifelessly performing my duties. I feel alive! I feel passion for life again! I feel like me! That in turn gives me the energy to give my daughter the attention she deserves. It gives me the desire to help her find something she can be passionate about. I realize a one-year-old doesn't completely understand passion, but she understands joy and happiness! Since starting this blog, we've explored the world of toddlers with new curiosity. My little one is growing and developing her mind. It's so fun to watch, but even more fun to be a part of. 

Moral of the story, improving my intellectual health has improved my life. It has improved my family relationships. It has improved my emotional stability. It has reminded me of my worth. This week, I encourage you to find something to be passionate about. It can be something you studied in school, a talent you've always wanted to develop, or just finding an answer to a long-standing question. Bring curiosity and desire back into your life. Challenge your mind. I promise you will find that improving your intellectual wellness with improve your understanding of self-worth. You will find that you are of great worth. You will see it in yourself and you will believe it's true. Why? Because you are worth it.

Emotional Wellness

I almost considered skipping this post. Partly because it's a difficult subject to address and partly because this is the most difficult area for me to achieve "optimal wellness". Most women struggle to find emotional stability. God blessed us with these hormones that naturally make us go crazy on a regular basis, so our job is double duty. We have to find a balance with our hormones AND find a balance with our reactions to our situations. Sweet!

Emotional wellness is defined as "having a positive attitude, high self-esteem, a strong sense of self and the ability to recognize and share a wide range of feelings with others in a constructive way." Here's a list of signs that you are emotionally well:

• The ability to talk with someone about your emotional concerns and share your feelings with others.
• Saying "no" when you need to without feeling guilty.
• You feel content most of the time.
• Feeling you have people in your life that care about you- a strong support network.
• Being able to relax.
• Feeling good about who you are.

(http://www.unh.edu/health-services/ohep/emotional-wellness)

Haha. After reading that list, are you feeling emotionally well? Just the "being able to relax" part rules out most women! Even before I had my daughter I don't remember being able to relax! Now that I'm a mom, relax is a foreign concept. I'm really good at looking relaxed, but deep down, I'm stressing about bills and laundry and dinner and if I remembered to put on deodorant... 

Here's the deal, that last point is the most important one. Feeling good about who you are. That is what it means to be emotionally stable. Think about a stability ball, ya know those big ones at the gym? Think about sitting on a stability ball. You're gonna wobble around a bit, no matter how strong you are. Stability isn't about never moving, it's about catching yourself before you fall. Emotional stability is the same way. It's not about always being positive. It's about catching yourself before you become overwhelmed.

My dad explained this to me. You can't control every situation, but you can control your emotions. Unless you're pregnant. Then you have an out. I was a firm believer that pregnant women just milk the crazy hormone card until I was pregnant with my daughter. I will testify that there were feelings I could NOT control. In fact, there were feelings I had no idea why I was feeling them! So pregnant women- get a good therapist and be grateful you're not actually an elephant. Your emotions will be yours again, I promise. Everybody else- you can control your emotions! Your reaction is your choice. 

This is a talent that comes with practice. Don't expect to be a pro over night. And don't compare yourself to anyone but you. Some people are naturally less inclined to react with their heart and more with their heads. Like all lifestyle changes, we start small. Start by choosing one emotional reaction to change. Maybe it will be choosing to smile at yourself first thing in the morning instead of criticizing. Maybe it will be saying something kind to a person you've been arguing with. Maybe it will be getting down to your child's eye level and asking them what they need. Or whistling a happy song while cleaning up your husband's muddy shoes prints. Doesn't matter what you choose, just make one reaction your choice. Take control of your emotions. Why? Because you are worth it!

Physical Wellness Cont.

Last week I went over the basics of nutrition. This week, I'll go over the basics of exercise. Now, this is probably going to be a little different than what you're used to hearing from a health expert. One- I'm not an expert. I'm just me. Two- I'm pretty sure most of you have heard the good old "you should workout because..." speech more times than you can count. I'd rather present this in a new fashion than try to beat a dead horse.

Now, I know a lot about exercise. It's what I majored in and it's what I enjoy, so I keep up with the latest and greatest techniques and tools. What I've learned is that there is a whole lot of ways to exercise. You've probably heard terms like "cardio" and "strength training". And within each of those categories are things like running, yoga, biking, Pilates, swimming, free weights, plyo, Zumba, bootcamp, step, Crossfit, water aerobics, HIIT, etc. The list could go on and on with types of exercise. Just check out Pinterest. With SO much out there, how are you supposed to know what to do? What will make you look and feel great?

Here's the skinny: you should shoot for 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. That's a good baseline, a good goal to work towards. 30 minutes a day means you can consider yourself "active" in your lifestyle. And that 30 minutes can come any way you'd like. It can come from a nightly walk with a friend or your family. It can be a combo of classes offered at your gym. It can come from weeding your garden. It can come from getting up and moving during work breaks. That 30 minutes does not have to be consecutive! 30 minutes is 30 minutes, no matter how you add it up.

Here's were I'm gonna tell you something new. That 30 minutes does not have to be doing something you hate. WHAT?! I'VE BEEN LIED TO MY WHOLE LIFE? I DON'T HAVE TO DREAD EXERCISE?! Yes! Exercise is simply moving your body. You can move it however you like. Personally, I hate running. It's not my thing. Does that mean I'm a weakling? Heck no! So what if I'll never run a marathon? I'll bet I can hold a plank longer than you can! My point is that exercise is meant to be enjoyed. With so many options, find something you enjoy! And if you can't find something you enjoy, make up something new!

After I had my daughter, I was very limited in what I could do physically. I had gained a lot of weight and despite breastfeeding, that weight had no intention of going anywhere. I was pretty down on myself when I realized I'd gone from a size 6 to a size 14. I had to do something, but I wasn't really capable of much. So I started cooking. I could handle standing for a short time, so I started there. It wasn't much, but it was something I could do. Then I turned on some music. Cooking and bouncing. That's all I was doing. That got me moving. For a while, I just had music on all the time because I would bounce along to the beat. I didn't lose much weight that way, but I got stronger. Within a couple months, I got back on my elliptical. I started with five minutes a day. That killed me. I worked my way up slowly, very slowly. After a few months of that, I added in some strength training. For my baby girl's first birthday, I bought myself a pair of size 6 pants. Yesterday, I bought another pair.

My point is that you can do it. If you saw me today, you would never guess that last year I was barely able to walk.  Last year I was bouncing in my kitchen. This year I teach a fitness group out of my home three times a week, swim 3-5 times a week, go on walks daily, do a little personal training, and even do some Zumba (although that's not really my thing). Anything that gets you up and moving counts as exercise.

This week, find something you love doing. It can be anything: dancing, running, swimming, gardening, chasing your kids, playing video games, watching TV, hanging out with girlfriends... I don't care what it is as long as you love doing it. Then find a way to move while you do it. If it's something that already requires movement, you're set. If it's something sedentary, like watching TV or reading my blog, get up and move while you do that. Put the TV in front of the treadmill. Pull up facebook on your phone or tablet and surf while you ride a stationary bike. Get your girlfriends together for a Pintrest night and try all the workouts you've pinned. This week, get up and move! Why? Because you are worth it!

Physical Wellness

I've been thinking a lot this week about how to introduce this topic. There is so much to cover, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone. So, even though it's a long one, stick with me. We'll work through this together and if you have any questions, ask away.

Physical wellness is all about our body's state of wellness. There are two sides to physical wellness: what we put in and what we take out. We put in energy, we take out energy. That energy is defined in calories. We consume x number of calories a day and use y number of calories a day. In general, if the net number of calories is zero, our bodies stay the same. If we consume more calories than we use, we store those calories for later. If we consume less calories than we use, we take them our of storage. Pretty simple, huh?

Now, there are all different theories and diets that claim you can lose weight fast without any work. Well, look that the facts. If you eat more than you work, you will not lose weight. At least not in the way our bodies are intended to lose weight. Also, if you work more than you have stored, your body will give out. We need both food and work to survive. The minute you give up one, you give up your wellness.

This week, I'll focus mostly on what we put in. Just the basics, so don't freak out. I'm just giving you an overview of what our bodies need to survive. No crazy diet plans. Just the facts. Next week we'll talk about how to use what we put in.

Mathematically, one calorie is always one calorie. 3500 calories make up one pound. To gain one pound, our net caloric intake much be (+) 3500. To lose a pound, our net caloric intake much be (-) 3500. Again, pretty simple. Problem is, calories are not created equal. By that I mean our bodies do not recognize all calories equally. A calorie from a carbohydrate is going to be used differently than a calorie from protein. A calorie of fat is going to be used differently than a calorie of carbohydrate. Our bodies need all these nuterints, but they need different proportions of each.

Here's a infographic about calories.
Explains what percent of our diet should come from each nutrient.

Any diet that removes one of more of these nutrients is not a good diet. Let me repeat that, any diet that removes one of more of these nutrients is not a good diet. Our bodies need all these types of food for different functions. Here's a very simple explanation: carbs are used for energy, proteins build and repair, and fats protect. There is more to each of these, but I'm not gonna go into that right now. What's important is that our bodies need all these nutrients. Could you imagine what our bodies would go through if we deprived them of even one of these nutrients? You'd have no energy! You wouldn't be able to heal after an injury! Your organs would bump into each other and cause bruising and/or tearing! Does any of that sound healthy? I don't think so!

So this week, look at your lifestyle. What is your net caloric intake? You don't need to count calories for that, just estimate. The average woman needs between 1200 and 1400 calories just to lay in bed all day. That's how much our bodies need just to perform it's regular functions. That means you should be getting at least 1200 calories a day and that's before adding in exercise. Now, Michael Phelps is allowed to eat 7000+ calories a day. And when you spend 6-8 hours a day working out like he does, you can too. Until then, maybe limit yourself to around 2000. For every hour of exercise, add 300-500ish calories.

Don't like to count calories? Shoot for serving instead. Here's a little tip staying within your caloric budget without counting calories: 6-8 servings of grains, 3-4 servings of veggies, 2-3 servings of fruit, 5(ish)oz of meat/beans, and 2-3 servings dairy. You may have some allergies or preferences that changes up these servings and that's totally fine. Personally, I don't eat dairy much. So I replace my dairy intake with extra fruits and veggies. Some of you might be vegetarians. You'll replace your meat intake with other sources of protein.

As you check out your normal intake, think about what you can change. Try to get the right percent of each nutrient in your diet. You'll be surprised at how quickly you catch on. You'll also be surprised by how quickly you notice a change. My bet is that by next week, you'll notice you have more energy. You'll feel less sluggish. Within a month you'll probably notice you're sleeping better and have a desire to live a more active lifestyle. Give it 3-4 months and you'll notice some significant changes in your curvature. In 6 months, you'll be asking yourself why you didn't start this earlier!

I'm not promising this will fix all your problems in life. I'm just promising that it will make you more ready to deal with those problems. Go on. Give it a try. See what happens. Why? Because you are worth it.