Emotional Wellness

I almost considered skipping this post. Partly because it's a difficult subject to address and partly because this is the most difficult area for me to achieve "optimal wellness". Most women struggle to find emotional stability. God blessed us with these hormones that naturally make us go crazy on a regular basis, so our job is double duty. We have to find a balance with our hormones AND find a balance with our reactions to our situations. Sweet!

Emotional wellness is defined as "having a positive attitude, high self-esteem, a strong sense of self and the ability to recognize and share a wide range of feelings with others in a constructive way." Here's a list of signs that you are emotionally well:

• The ability to talk with someone about your emotional concerns and share your feelings with others.
• Saying "no" when you need to without feeling guilty.
• You feel content most of the time.
• Feeling you have people in your life that care about you- a strong support network.
• Being able to relax.
• Feeling good about who you are.

(http://www.unh.edu/health-services/ohep/emotional-wellness)

Haha. After reading that list, are you feeling emotionally well? Just the "being able to relax" part rules out most women! Even before I had my daughter I don't remember being able to relax! Now that I'm a mom, relax is a foreign concept. I'm really good at looking relaxed, but deep down, I'm stressing about bills and laundry and dinner and if I remembered to put on deodorant... 

Here's the deal, that last point is the most important one. Feeling good about who you are. That is what it means to be emotionally stable. Think about a stability ball, ya know those big ones at the gym? Think about sitting on a stability ball. You're gonna wobble around a bit, no matter how strong you are. Stability isn't about never moving, it's about catching yourself before you fall. Emotional stability is the same way. It's not about always being positive. It's about catching yourself before you become overwhelmed.

My dad explained this to me. You can't control every situation, but you can control your emotions. Unless you're pregnant. Then you have an out. I was a firm believer that pregnant women just milk the crazy hormone card until I was pregnant with my daughter. I will testify that there were feelings I could NOT control. In fact, there were feelings I had no idea why I was feeling them! So pregnant women- get a good therapist and be grateful you're not actually an elephant. Your emotions will be yours again, I promise. Everybody else- you can control your emotions! Your reaction is your choice. 

This is a talent that comes with practice. Don't expect to be a pro over night. And don't compare yourself to anyone but you. Some people are naturally less inclined to react with their heart and more with their heads. Like all lifestyle changes, we start small. Start by choosing one emotional reaction to change. Maybe it will be choosing to smile at yourself first thing in the morning instead of criticizing. Maybe it will be saying something kind to a person you've been arguing with. Maybe it will be getting down to your child's eye level and asking them what they need. Or whistling a happy song while cleaning up your husband's muddy shoes prints. Doesn't matter what you choose, just make one reaction your choice. Take control of your emotions. Why? Because you are worth it!