This was not the blog I was planning on writing today, but I have a feeling this one will be better. I've seen this link (When Your Mother Says She's Fat) floating around the web lately and finally had time to read it this morning. Fantastic article. I just had a similar conversation with my mother.
The conversation I had with my mom was about how a mother's voice is what a daughter hears in her head. The things a mother says about herself are the things her daughter are going to say somewhere down the road. When I voiced this opinion to my mom, her response was "Oh dear." As a mom, I understand her fear. I never want to hear my daughter say some of the things I say about myself! I never want to see my daughter stand in front of a mirror and pinch every inch of fat! I never want to hear my daughter say that she is ugly! And I definitely do not want her to equate ugly with fat!
Fat is a measure of body mass! Ugly is defined as unpleasant or repulsive. A person's actions make them ugly, not their body mass! Most of the women I know do not fall within the optimal weight provided by the BMI chart. These women are also beautiful and talented and smart and wonderful! Their weight does not define them, nor does yours!
Ladies, whether or not you are a mother, the words you say about yourself matter. They matter because you are not the only one who hears them. If I can't convince you to say nice things about yourself because you deserve to hear them, then say nice things about yourself so that others can hear them. Especially if you have children, be kind to yourself. Your daughters will become like you. Your sons will marry someone like you. If you want your children to grow up strong and confident, lead them by example. Become strong and confident yourself. Believe that you are beautiful. Believe that you are wonderful. Believe that you are of worth.
P.S.- I strongly encourage that you read this article. It is written from the daughter's point of view, showing how her mother's words affected her idea of body image. It doesn't matter what stage in life you're in, we could all be a bit kinder to ourselves.
P.P.S.- To any men that might have stumbled across this post, be kind to the women in your life. Tell your mother that she is beautiful. Tell your sister, your grandma, your neighbor. Most importantly, tell your wife that she is remarkable, outstanding, breath-takingly beautiful. Always look at her the way you did on your wedding day. Never stop telling her. And NEVER tell her that she is fat and ugly!
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