Well, readers. Today I'm turning the page over to you. My wisdom and love has fallen short. I've come up against a topic that I can't put a positive spin on, so I'm asking for your help.
Here's how it all started. I was taking this "Which Jane Austen character are you" quiz and realized that I'm a Darcy. No, I'm not rich or good-looking, but of all the character, he's who I relate to most. Why? Because my good opinion once lost is lost forever. And try as I might, my mind does not change easily. This is a new realization about myself and not a pleasant one at that. I don't mean to be prejudice, but apparently I am.
So here's my question to you readers: how do you create a relationship with someone you don't have a high opinion of? Whether it be someone you've never liked, someone you love but has hurt you unimaginably, or someone who is just completely opposite from you, how do you establish a connection with them?
Exhibit A: "Winner Wally". "WW" believes that you only live once, so you best make the most of it. "WW" cares only about winning, being number one. "WW" does not care what he/she has to do to get on top, as long as he doesn't get caught. "WW" does not believe there are consequences for his/her actions because "WW" does not believe there is a God. How do you create a relationship with someone who's fundamental beliefs are based on the complete opposite of you own?
Exhibit B": "Debbie Downer". "DD" is a pessimist. "DD" withholds love and affection unless you do as he/she wishes. "DD" is constantly seeing the chance to disagree. "DD" believes that his/her opinion is better than yours, regardless of your expertise or experience. "DD" is quick to point the finger, but rarely accepts the blame. "DD" will privately reconcile with you, then publicly defame you. Basically, "DD" has some growing up to do, but in the mean time, you have to deal with their immaturity and disrespect. How do you create a relationship with someone who is so stunted in their maturity?
These examples are my two biggest flops. I don't know how to relate to atheists or pessimists, even if they are good people. I don't understand how they live each day. One sees no purpose and the other sees no potential. Everything I believe in is purpose and potential! How do you form a good opinion of someone so opposite from yourself? Readers? Buler? Anyone?
I would love to meet the person who knows the answer to this one! Relationships are so personal, it is hard to even attempt to comment on how to revive one or identify one that is toxic and needs to end, if you aren't closely involved with it. I do have a mantra that I have been applying to pretty much everything in life lately. It goes like this . . ." look for the good, emphasize it, be grateful for it." That is all I got. But I have a question . . Does Debbie treat everyone that way? Most of that stuff is just annoying but the "reconcile privately and defame publicly" thing would really get to me.-Ash
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