Just Stop It.

Oh, women. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we feel this need to keep up with the Jones? Why do we compare our faults to others strengths? Why do we put ourselves down for being flawed? Why do we put down others for actions that we do not understand? Why do we measure ourselves against an unreal expectation of perfection? Why do we do this to ourselves?

One of the top news stories this week was the controversy that broke out after a young woman posted a selfie 4-days post baby. The controversy? Is she a role model for new moms or is she furthering the pressure for new moms to jump back post baby? Whereas most individuals reading the articles circling the internet and taking a side, my thoughts were not "Why are we doing this to women?" but "Why are we doing this as women?"

I'll admit that seeing a woman with such a perfect form four days our does hurt my heart a little. I feel the longing to jump back that quickly (or at all...). I feel the guilt that I still don't look that great after almost 2 years. I feel the need to hear her story, learn about her diet and exercise habits during pregnancy, partly to know what I did wrong and partly to prove she put her baby at risk doing something unhealthy. Honestly, I feel the need to compare.

But my much stronger feelings are not about this woman, but all women. My thoughts are this: Why were there so many women quick to judge? Was it because we feel that this woman is raising the bar for us? Was it because we secretly envy her genetic potential? The only answer that makes complete sense is because we compare. We compare ourselves to genetic unicorns and photoshopped images. We compare ourselves to top-paid athletes and celebrities that are paid and painted to look that good. We compare ourselves to friends and sisters and neighbors and coworkers. All day, every day we compare.

Ladies, stop it. Just stop it. You are wonderful. You are wonderful, regardless of anything else. You are wonderful with or without stretch marks. You are wonderful with or without that extra 20 pounds. You are wonderful with or without a beautiful home or a brand new car. You are wonderful with straight hair, curly hair, or somewhere in between. You are wonderful, regardless of your marital status, the number of children you have, your political affiliation, or your background check. You are wonderful, regardless of how you compare to anyone else.

So just stop comparing! You are wonderful and she is wonderful. And your wonder is not dependent on her wonder. And her wonder does not subtract from you wonder. You are equally wonderful! You are strong and so is she. You are beautiful and so is she. You are important and so is she. You have worth and so does she. No need to compare.